Avoidance

I’ve been absent for almost a year, but within that year has been so much growth. I needed the time away from this outlet, and now I’m back…

 

…What I wanted to touch on was how men (young and old) avoid discussions, dialogue, conversations, and more, if it somehow regards or is related to HIV/AIDS. It’s astonishing how the mentality of “if it does not affect me I don’t need to worry about it” is so common among our young boys and men. I’ve reached out to a few people of possible projects and collaborations, and I receive all the initial words of excitement. Once that conversation has ended though there is no follow-up. The project is avoided, they wash their hands, and keep it moving. This is the exact reason why in day-to-day discussions, groups, or men that I come across I make a concerted effort to throw HIV/AIDS into the mix. We don’t talk about it enough, and it was bad enough that I had a loved one call me earlier this year to inform me of their recent HIV test, which their first after being sexually active for 18 years! There are more young boys and men out here, who are sexually active and do not know their HIV status. That conversation sparked an idea, which turned into an all-male panel discussion. I was able to bring out Gene Elliot Thornton, Jr. (formerly known as Malice of the Clipse; now goes by “No Malice”). The discussion was fruitful, but more need to take place. I am energized and charged with a plethora of event ideas, so be on the look out for those events.

In learning more about myself, I’ve learned more about men and how certain cycles are continued without men even noticing. There’s male privilege, fear of isolation and loss, emotional illiteracy, and so much more that plagues the hearts and minds of boys and men of all walks of life.  This journey I am on has been eye opening and amazing. I just thank God for each and every day, but I thank God for right now. I have fingers to type, eyes to view a computer monitor, and a sane mind to form thoughts. The breathe of life is a gift, and if you are reading this you are a blessing to me. Peace and eternal blessings.

Gun Violence in NYC

The amount of gun violence that has been plaguing NYC as of lately has been really crazy. Just the other day a 34 year-old, mother of twelve children, Zurana Horton, was gunned down right outside of a school in Brooklyn. She was pregnant and chose to shield her child and neighboring children close by. I wanted to take the time out of my day to make sure her name is remembered, because not everyone would protect others as opposed to looking for their own survival.

I could hate on Al Sharpton and his insatiable appetite to always be in front of the cameras with his permed hair and shiny-suit, but we need other warriors to step into the forefront and do something radical. Cut off your hair, throw your suit in the trash, and be among the people in the neighborhoods where the gun violence is taking place. Approach brothers still attached to the umbilical cord of the block. They don’t go further than they have to, so they’re always going to be there out in the open.

I’m sure authorities are aware of the origin of these weapons, but it’s not at the top of their to-do-list. I am hopeful, and will continue to push myself to do the things that I can do as individual. You do the same.

“Identity & Direction”

Fasting for three days in search for Identity & Direction; only consuming water or fresh, squeezed fruits. Keep me in your prayers, as I always keep you in my own.

A “Piece” of Me

If you know me and know my testimony/story, then you know that my father passed away when I was four years-old. He was a great man with struggles that still plague the hearts and minds of individuals today. As much hurt and pain as he caused I always focus on the light that shined so bright. He was a devout Muslim, who taught himself how to read, write, and speak Arabic. He had strong genes (I look like I could be his younger brother). Most of all he could paint very well.

When he was going through a rough patch one of my aunts, who resides in NYC, bought one of his paintings for $100. I confirmed the price with my mother, because family often holds grudges with their own. We speak ever so often, but she happened to call me just the other day. She’s doing some spring cleaning, and have her whole house painted. She said that she was going to get rid of the painting, and wanted to ask me first, since it was my father’s piece. Without hesitation I said of course. Before I could even say that, though, she said that she wanted $200, for what she paid for (*shaking my head*). I didn’t even think too much about, but told her I’ll have the money ready for her.

I’ve wanted that painting for a long time, because I knew she never appreciated it as much as I did. Before I leave this earth I’ll be sure to learn how to paint, so I can create a piece that I hope to pass down myself. Even though my aunt’s neighbor wanted it I would’ve done anything and everything to make sure I would obtain that painting. Once I get it I’ll be sure to post a picture of it. Money isn’t even an issue. I just want the piece of me returned has been missing for far too long.

NYC Marathon 2011

Like I said in my previous post I am not running this year, but I still run to stay in shape. I ran last year with these two ladies, and I would be remiss if I didn’t help them raise some money. It’s not easy raising $2,500 when you’re asking mostly family and friends. I’m not within the 1% of population that controls most of the wealth in this country, so it’s not all that easy. If you are able to please donate as much as you feel moved to donate to Maria A. Davis (internationally known HIV activist) and Victoria Carrera (Professional Trainer). They’re running for HarlemUnited, which is a community-based organization providing unique continuum of care. They integrate socially and economically disenfranchised people into a healthy and healing community. The majority of their clients are people living with HIV/AIDS. Stigma and barriers due to poverty, race, HIV status, sexual or gender identity are their enemies, but they are one of the few voices crying in the wilderness for those that are most often forgotten.

Please support my two strong sisters, and help support HarlemUnited:

– Maria A. Davis

– Victoria Carrera

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s a while…

Sorry for neglecting my wordpress blog, but I’ve been super busy. I’m energized with all the new ventures that I’m embarking on, so you’ll see updates a lot more frequent. I originally started this to help spread the word to all my family and friends when I ran in the 2010 NYC Marathon. I’m not doing it this year, but I will definitely do it next year. I will shout out a few of my good friends that continue to run. I’ll leave that for another post though. Until my next post all I can hope and pray for is to inspire and heal, if not someone else, then most definitely myself!

Speak life…

Those that follow me on twitter know my motto: “Speak life. Tweet life.” In short, that just means you have full control of the words that leave your lips and your fingertips. The words you choose hold a lot of power. You could breathe life into someone or even death, so why not choose the former? That’s what I choose to do, especially when it comes to utilizing the social tool known as Twitter.

What I wanted to comment on is what DJ Cipha Sounds recently said during his normal morning show on Hot 97. Cipha Sounds & Rosenberg Show joined by K. Foxx. I listen to their show from time to time during incubation periods in the laboratory. It’s enough that Hot 97 always spotlights “a Puerto-Rican”, “a Black”, and “a Jew” in reference to DJ Cipha Sounds, K. Foxx, and Rosenberg, so let that set the tone for most of what is discussed during their morning show. As Cipha Sounds said it himself his comments were “tasteless and stupid”. What he said specifically was that the reason why he’s HIV negative is due to him not having sex with Haitian women.

Just as Family Guy, The Simpson’s, a plethora of Late Night Shows and comedy acts utilize many tasteless jokes people still felt that Cipha Sounds took it too far. I cannot disagree with the masses on this one. You have to think twice about the words you choose. From the looks of his indefinite suspension Cipha Sounds didn’t take too much time thinking before he made his comments.

First, let me say that it is comments like these that makes the work of HIV/AIDS activist that much harder. There is still a stigma attached to HIV/AIDS and this isn’t making it any better. HIV doesn’t seek out only Haitian women. It sees no race, religion, sexual orientation, or political party. All the virus looks for is an opportunity to find a new host. When you have unprotected sex you put yourself at risk for contracting HIV.

Second, I would not have jumped to see him fired. It’s a shame that people in general are always looking to see someone get fired. Cipha Sounds has a good heart. He made a mistake. What we should do instead is use him and this situation to help him grow as a radio personality/host, while at the same time educating the listeners to the severity of HIV/AIDS in our community. Not everyone thinks about helping someone else out.  All you see are politicians and community activists jumping at the opportunity to get a little shine while knocking the next man down.

In conclusion, I’m sure Cipha Sounds will keep his job at Hot 97 and will seek out the counseling to make sure that makes better decisions in the future. Just know that HIV is a still out there and there is no cure [yet]. The research is being done, vaccine trials are going through the proper phases, and anti-retroviral drugs are helping people living with the virus to live normal lives.

Always remember…”Speak life!” And if you tweet, “Tweet life!”

HIV Patient “Cured”…?

I’ve heard about this for some time, mainly due to the fact that I do work in the HIV/AIDS research field, so I am privy to a lot of the important data, news, etc.

Earlier today in the Huffington Post Carly Schwartz wrote an article entitled “Stem Cell Transplant Cures HIV in ‘Berlin Patient‘”. A myth in certain African-American communities is that Magic Johnson has had the cure for a while. Why else would he look so healthy and still be alive? It should clearly be understood that it is direct result of excellent doctors, and a combination of Anti-retroviral Therapy (ART).

Should people be excited? It depends. When you start talking about a cure there are two different types of cures: functional and eradication. A functional cure is for someone who has been on ART and whose viral load has been brought to below detectable levels. An eradication cure, on the other hand, is one that removes HIV entirely from the body! According to Anthony Fauci, M.D. (Director, National Institute of Allergy & Infection Disease at the National Institute of Health), “He [Berlin Patient] is a living proof that something other than ART can control HIV.”

There is always hope. We are ever, evolving human beings. Give a round of applause and blessings to the patient along with the team of doctors, scientists, and technicians that helped in engineering the stem cells. After you do that…keep it moving. There’s work to be done!

Know that the Berlin Patient had no other choice. If he didn’t try this procedure he would have died from leukemia! What turned out to be a lose-lose situation transformed to a situation of hope. I wonder how his perspective on his life is now? Has it never faltered? Has it changed? Curious minds would like to know, because this procedure is very difficult to implement on a larger scale. A few reasons why are (1) it’s very expensive and (2) there’s a possibility of death during the procedure!

There really isn’t a cure just yet, so don’t jump the gun by continuing rumors of this happening to more than one person. What we can be certain of is that we will continue to aggressively test individuals who are unaware of their status, link patients to care & treatment, and go hard when it comes to prevention (i.e. microbicides, vaccines, testing, counseling, etc). I’ll leave you with a quote that has inspired me even more: “Scientists are stubborn. That persistence on the part of the scientific community hopefully exceeds the persistent qualities of the virus.” – Mario Stevenson (Prof. of Molecular Medicine @ UMASS)

That persistence will exceed the persistence of the virus. I’m sure of it, because I am apart of and see the work being done at the Aaron Diamond AIDS Research Center (ADARC). My heart, mind, and soul are “available” to everything else that is done outside of ADARC and around the world.

Be blessed!

It is finished!

I know this is extremely late, but it’s so necessary.

This summer I set a goal to complete the 2010 ING NYC Marathon and this past November I did just that! In 4 hours, 18 minutes, and 50 seconds I completed 26.2 miles, for my first marathon! Ever!

I was coasting most of the way and for the first time I hit the “wall” and my body wanted to stop, but from mile 19 on it was all mental. I pushed my body beyond what I thought I could, and what others believed I could achieve.

So much has come out from this, but I want to thank everyone who supported in any way. Whether it was a financial donation, words of encouragement, a hug, or any other way of pushing me on. I thank you with all of my being. Thank you for believing in me.

I will leave you with something I learned through this journey:
“You can push your body to the brink of destruction to find out that you can’t be destroyed”

Be blessed!

My Reason Why: #2 (Continued…)

I felt compelled to dig a little deeper when it comes to my father and him not being around…

It never really hit me until I was in high school that not having a father around really was kind of depressing. Growing up I learned a lot of stuff on my own. I spent some of the most important years of my life being raised by my Uncle Ike & Aunt Vera, with my cousins [brother] Troy and [sister] Tennille. I can’t knock my uncle at all, for I did learn a lot of things from him, in his own unique way (LOL!). But there’s nothing like having a father…the man who participated in your conception…the man you look like! (Note: I’m pretty much a split image of what my father looks like…it’s really crazy now that I think about it. We could be twins.) I digress…Those who have loving fathers understand what I’m talking about. Those questions I had as a young man I could never ask my father.

As I’ve matured and started to look more and more like my father I have learned a lot about his past. I’ve found out that he wasn’t loved as much he should’ve been loved. I’m sure he used drugs as an outlet from what he felt was a cold, cold world. He wasn’t a bad looking guy either. A lot of my older uncles and cousins from my father’s side of the family always spoke of being jealous of how many women would be attracted to him.

He was looking for love in all the wrong places and just so happened to contract the HIV virus. It wasn’t that long before he developed AIDS do to the lack of anti-retroviral drug selection at the time…He was young and had so much to live for. The mind boggling thing is that there are people today living a similar life and sometimes seeing the same results.

This past May after I completed the AIDS Walk around Central Park my friend, Maria A. Davis, and a few other friends were on 116th and ran into a homeless woman on the street. She was originally from California and happened to make her way to New York City. She was running away from a brother that raped her and a family that didn’t show her love. Her outlet was drugs as we could assume from the needle marks on her arms. She disclosed her AIDS status to us, and we noticed she had an abscess on her forearm. We offered to take her to the emergency room, but declined. She said she would go on her own time. I hope she really went. Before we were on our way we made sure she had some money in her pocket, new clothes to wear, and a prayer to remember that no matter what person may try to downplay her humanity in this world she should always remember that, “She is the beloved of God. His spirit rests on her. And in her God finds favor.”

Her name was Natasha.

It hurts my heart, and shakes my spirit to see people walking through life not being loved. Hopefully through my efforts young men won’t have to go through life without a father like I did.

Father w/ his sister (Aunt B.)